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  • Mervyn Cole

Mervyn talks politics with Irving Fleming from the New Herald Union-Post Republic

Ok Mervyn so you're a (goddamn) liberal, yet you say you'd vote for a Republican if they allowed Student Loan Forgiveness. Wouldn't voting Republican go against who you are?

It'd kinda be like spraying myself in the face with mace. But I'd be ready.

You aren't afraid of the backlash you might receive from your (pinko commie) friends?

Possibly, I mean I know my gay friends would all hate me, but then again we are kind of in a tiff anyway.

But you're a staunch "Environmentalist" (AKA Job Killer)

I mean yeah the planet would suffer but I'm not rich, I don't own beachfront property, in fact, if we allow global warming to happen I could very well end up having a nice view of the Ocean. And you know it's not like Greenland has ever been on my list of places to go. I mean what's the allure? The fish? Besides, I'll be dead by then. It's kind of like a smokers outlook. You die anyway and although it's not a great death, it is nonetheless, a death.

But don't you protect a woman's "right" to "choose".

Well I mean what's 9 months? Sometimes we gotta rough it out. This would be a great opportunity for the next great entrepreneur to sell Tampon/Condom combo packs at a Walmart or something.

You're not a big fan of guns.

Well not necessarily, I do enjoy action movies. It's also 2016, instruments of warfare laying around the house are just apart of who we are, it's in our DNA. We could very well be called upon to overthrow the government every year around tax season.

Do you suppose you'll fare better? Economically?

Wages haven't caught up with the cost of living, which makes paying debt harder than it was...say in your time. Without the debt burden of my student loan...I'd say that the trickle from above would become a gusher.

Interesting pipe dream. The only handout I can give you is this flyer a Scientolgist gave me while I was walking here to meet you.

Gee thanks.

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