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  • Mervyn Cole

Hunter Biden Impeached

WASHINGTON, DC — Republicans gleefully passed cigars out on the house floor Wednesday after what one staffer called "six grueling months investigating an unhinged crackhead; there were so many dick pics mixed in with bank records that I began to question my sexuality. It's no coincidence that those two guys that got caught doing it in the Senate hearing room were in charge of cataloging his dick pics."

Hunter Biden naked at an AirBnB in Malibu, CA

On the surface, impeaching a private citizen who holds no public office seems puzzling, but House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jim Jordan, R-Ohio, reiterated, "It sends a clear message to America that the GOP is more than capable of getting things done." Right-Wing influencer and Elon Musk's political advisor Catturd2, who boasts 2.2M Twitter followers, had this to say, "We've been foaming at the mouth for impeachment, and while this was largely symbolic, his gun charge and tax crimes were not. We took a lot of L's in 2023, but we're starting 2024 off with a bang."


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