Forgiato Blow Vows to Crucify Himself "For Real For Real" if Trump Loses AgainCLEARWATER, FL — Kurt Jantz, AKA Forgiato Blow, was spotted on a diamond-encrusted cross early Thursday morning during a march to Donald...
Ice Cream Parlor Owner Changes Business Name to FJB to Keep Biden AwayMURFREESBORO, TN—After 55 years, Heidi's Ice Cream is now FJB Ice Cream, thanks to Jennifer Gourda, 35, who strongly feels the vulgar...
Hunter Biden ImpeachedWASHINGTON, DC — Republicans gleefully passed cigars out on the house floor Wednesday after what one staffer called "six grueling months...
New Tik Tok Trend Blamed for Rise in Plasma Theft PHOENIX, AZ — Gay Blood, once shunned in the medical community for fear of AIDS transmission, is now fetching top dollar as Vampiric...
FBI Raid of Clinton Compound Uncovers Proof of Trump Voodoo DollCHAPPAQUA, NY—A plumber going by the pseudonym Joe discovered the Voodoo Doll while snaking a drain in the upstairs bathroom of Bill and...
Skip Bayless Celebrates 50 Years of Trash Sports TakesLOS ANGELES, CA—The lone star of the Fox Sports debate show 'Undisputed' celebrated 50 years of what his peers call "trash takes" on...
DeSantis Uses Obscure Law to Ban Liberals From Entering FloridaJACKSONVILLE, FL—Sparring with Teachers and Mickey Mouse wasn't enough for Florida Governor and future Presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis....
Jordan Peterson Offers 20% Discount off Tour With Promo Code 'INCEL20'CINCINNATI, OH—Fans of the touring professor emeritus are in an uproar as a promo appearing on Twitter seems to poke fun at his mostly...
New York Times Dismisses Rogue Courtroom Sketch ArtistMANHATTAN, NY—The attorneys for Donald J. Trump cried foul when they discovered an alternate rendering of the former president on the...