Ivanka Trump Angers Father by Coming out as Woke
MIAMI, FL––Leaked text messages reveal a woke Ivanka Trump, 41, confessing to the former President. CNN Political strategist Frank...
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House GOP's Plan to Balance the Deficit Hinges on Sales of Hunter Biden Tees
WASHINGTON, DC—Marjorie Taylor Greene introduced a new plan to "Save America" in congress. The Georgia representative, also known as...
Greta Gerwig's 'Barbie' Gets a Rousing 10-Minute Standing Ovation at Sundance
PARK CITY, UT—Oscar buzz wasn't expected for the live-action film based on Mattel's iconic children's dolls when it screened at the...
Upcoming Film Titled 'Trust Me Bro' Has No Trailer or Synopsis
HOLLYWOOD, CA—Tinseltown is no stranger to vague advertising. "Teasing just an image is what savvy marketers have been doing for...
Tesla Pivots to Untapped MAGA Market With Limited Edition Model Ultra M
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Immediately after buying Twitter to “save humanity,” Elon Musk, 51, instructed his design team at Tesla to coax the...
LA Mayoral Hopeful Caruso Allowing Unhoused to Roam Free at the Grove
LOS ANGELES, CA—Rick Caruso spent millions of his own money to flood the mailboxes of Angelenos with political ads. Still, his last-ditch...
California Man Convicted of 3rd Degree Mansplaining
MODESTO, CA—The daughter of Timothy Watkins, 59, reported the Mansplaining to authorities on the morning of April 20th. "I don't think...
Swamp Ass Cases Soar Across the U.S.
MANHATTAN, NY— Fredricka Haiman, 28, and her boyfriend Alain Muller, 30, from Cologne Germany longed to return to New York City for their...
Pete Davidson Clones Ready to Sleep With Every American
TIJUANA, BC MX––A purported former textile factory on Avenida Valle de San Antonio is the site of one of the most extensive human cloning...
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