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New Tik Tok Trend Blamed for Rise in Plasma Theft

PHOENIX, AZ — Gay Blood, once shunned in the medical community for fear of AIDS transmission, is now fetching top dollar as Vampiric...

FBI Raid of Clinton Compound Uncovers Proof of Trump Voodoo Doll

CHAPPAQUA, NY—A plumber going by the pseudonym Joe discovered the Voodoo Doll while snaking a drain in the upstairs bathroom of Bill and...

Skip Bayless Celebrates 50 Years of Trash Sports Takes

LOS ANGELES, CA—The lone star of the Fox Sports debate show 'Undisputed' celebrated 50 years of what his peers call "trash takes" on...

DeSantis Uses Obscure Law to Ban Liberals From Entering Florida

JACKSONVILLE, FL—Sparring with Teachers and Mickey Mouse wasn't enough for Florida Governor and future Presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis....

Jordan Peterson Offers 20% Discount off Tour With Promo Code 'INCEL20'

CINCINNATI, OH—Fans of the touring professor emeritus are in an uproar as a promo appearing on Twitter seems to poke fun at his mostly...

New York Times Dismisses Rogue Courtroom Sketch Artist

MANHATTAN, NY—The attorneys for Donald J. Trump cried foul when they discovered an alternate rendering of the former president on the...

Ivanka Trump Angers Father by Coming out as Woke

MIAMI, FL––Leaked text messages reveal a woke Ivanka Trump, 41, confessing to the former President. CNN Political strategist Frank...

House GOP's Plan to Balance the Deficit Hinges on Sales of Hunter Biden Tees

WASHINGTON, DC—Marjorie Taylor Greene introduced a new plan to "Save America" in congress. The Georgia representative, also known as...

Greta Gerwig's 'Barbie' Gets a Rousing 10-Minute Standing Ovation at Sundance

PARK CITY, UT—Oscar buzz wasn't expected for the live-action film based on Mattel's iconic children's dolls when it screened at the...

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